Finding You
by daniiRKOrebeccah
Summary: One Shot, Buffy hasn't been the same since she had to leave Spike in the Hellmouth and watch it be destroyed by the amulet he had been wearing, but what if a phonecall can change Buffy?


"_I love you" Spike looked down at their entwined hands that had just set ablaze. He then looked up at Buffy's watery eyes._

"_No you don't, but thanks for saying it"_

I woke up with a start, I sat up in bed and leant my head in my hands, and taking a deep breath I tried to steady my heart. Another night another dream, for the past 3 years I have had similar dreams, all related to the man I missed the most, Spike. It had been 3 years since Spike had risked his own life to save my friends, my family and me, 3 years since he disappeared from my life. Sunnydale had been rebuilt since the "earthquake" destroyed the town I had once lived; I was now living Cleveland, Ohio with Giles, Willow, Xander and many of the potential slayers which were now real slayers. We opened a centre for all Slayers around the world to come and train, Giles and Willow helped the slayers learn everything they needed to do while Xander with the help from Willow's locator spell traced the potential slayers and brought them to the centre. I trained them in hand to hand combat, teaching them about the weapons they would be using and how to use them. Dawn had left a year after we settled here, she had gone to live in LA with Angel and his son Conner, helping them to recover from the huge fight they had had in LA, and this had led to Dawn and Conner becoming an item.

I got out of bed and went over to the large window which looked over most of the city, it was so quiet tonight, the lights of Cleveland shone lighting the place. I wasn't taking much notice of this, all that was on my mind was Spike.

"_Your all I think about... 100 plus years and there's only one thing I've been sure about, you..."_

I let out a sigh as familiar memories filled my head, they were interrupted when my bedroom door opened.

"I thought you would be awake, you okay?" I gave my bestfriend a small smile before nodding.

"Yeah, just a dream" Willow walked in, shutting the door behind her and making herself comfy on my bed.

"You know, I could help you with that, I'm sure I can find some sort of spell that'll help you sleep, or get rid of the dreams" I shook my head.

"I'll be alright, these dreams are the only thing I have really of Spike's. I mean yeah I have some of his things, but the memories mean more" Willow nodded her head understanding what I meant.

"Well how about we do something today, have a girly day... go shopping or something?" Buffy smiled at the red head, today was the day she remembered Spike as it had been 3 years to the day that they had finally defeated the first and lost Spike, she did the same ritual every year.

"Will, you know today's a different day. I'm going back"

"Well how about I come with you, or Xander?"

"Willow..." Willow sighed and nodded.

"Okay, I get it... I just don't like seeing you down Buffy, we all miss everyone we lost but maybe it's time to move on?" Buffy looked up at the ceiling and sighed, trying to hold back tears.

"I don't think I can Will, I told him I loved him and he didn't believe me, he thought I was saying it just because of what happened... but I loved him, I really did" Willow listened as Buffy's voice weakened and a sob came from the Slayer. Willow rushed to the side of her bestfriend and held her in her arms as she cried.

-In LA Dawn Summers sat in her new office searching through the things that had been left in here, when Angel had brought this place he had simply boxed everything up and put it in different rooms. Dawn had given herself the job to sort through it all and if it was relevant to put it in away in a file. Most of the stuff was old research about demons they had to track and get rid of, she had put all that in a file because you never know when a demon was gonna show up. LA had become quiet since the latest apocalypse, which Dawn was happy about but she got bored, her job was to research and with no demons there was no need to research.

"Babe" Dawn smiled as she saw her boyfriend through the glass window.

"In my office" she heard him chuckle as he stood at the door of her office.

"You're really enjoying having your own office aren't you" Dawn grinned up from her seat behind the old desk and nodded.

"Makes me feel all special and official" he laughed and picked up some of the papers on the desk to look through them. "Where's Angel?"

"He's got a meeting with some woman about vampires, or something" Dawn sighed and looked at her boyfriend, Angel's son, Conner.

"It's still real strange that he's able to walk around outside and all that... he deserves it though, he has done a lot for this place, saved it and everything. I wonder if Spike would of got treatment like that if he was still here, he saved the world" Conner looked at Dawn as she looked down at the paper work in her hands, she often spoke about Spike, he had been like an older brother for her as she grew up. He had looked after Dawn when Buffy had died, the second time that is, Dawn owed him a lot but she could do nothing now but remember the vampire. Conner looked at her nervously before walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm sure he would of, what I hear he was a great person" Dawn smiled and nodded, before sighing and flipping through more paperwork.

"I can't believe there is so much stuff in here... it's gonna take me ages to sort through it" Conner laughed.

"I'd offer to help... but I really can't be bothered, plus Angel should be back soon, gonna see what this woman had to say" Dawn nodded.

"Let me know?" he kissed her puckered lips and nodded.

"You know I would, I'll see you upstairs" Dawn watched as he left before continuing through the paper work.

Buffy put the car in park as she stared at the road that had once led into the town she had spent her high school and college years. They hadn't bothered rebuilding the town completely, only adding a stable road for people to get to the next town. Buffy looked at the cracks in the road as she walked to where the edge of the crater would of been. So many memories were held in this town.

"_I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's..."_

Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes, she did love Spike, more than anyone could know, and when she finally had the guts to tell him it was too late.

"_This chip is something they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul I got on my own. For you."_

Buffy missed Spike more than she could ever say and she loved him unconditionally.

"_When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy"_

Buffy took a deep breath as she leant against the bonnet of her car, she wiped the fresh tears away and smiled a small smile.

"You're the one, Spike. I miss you and I love you" she looked once more at the road then up at the sky before heading back to the car.

Dawn was feeling the lack of energy now, she was tired, and that was an understatement. She had spent all day sorting through the boxes and it was now midnight. She had one box left, she opened it up to find books. They had belonged to Wesley or Fred before they had both died. She walked over to the bookshelf Conner had put in a couple of days ago and began putting the books on it, putting them in certain places to match relevance. The last one was different to the rest, she threw the box in the pile of other boxes and sat back down in the seat she had been seated in all day. She opened the book to the first page and began reading.

_It's strange adjusting to life back in the real world, especially when I thought it wasn't real. If it wasn't for Angel I'd still be in that hell I have lived in for 6 years. Everything seems to be finally coming back to me, the things I've learnt in the past, the life I lived in the past, everything. I've started using the things I've learnt to help Angel, helping him solve problems and think of plans that will help in any way possible._

This was Fred's journal, Dawn skipped a few pages. She realised Fred didn't write in it often.

_Things have certainly changed here, I don't know how to explain it. We're now at Wolfram and Hart, I've got an amazing science lab! I've been working closely with Knox, trying to figure out how to sort Spike out. We don't know how he ended up here, he's in some kind of ghost form at the minute, but we still don't understand properly. Angel said he had died when he closed the hellmouth back in Sunnydale._

Dawn dropped the book on the floor as she realised what she was reading. This part was wrote after the collapse of Sunnydale, Spike had died when the amulet began to work! But he must not have died, Spike had come back! Quickly she grabbed the book and began reading again, trying to find out as much as she could about Spike being back.

_I don't know how it was done, but Spike is finally back to himself, he's annoying Angel as usual. Things have taken an oddly turn here, something doesn't seem right, it feels like something big is coming. Angel and Spike are both acting different, I guess we'll find out sooner or later what big bad is coming this time._

Dawn turned the page to see it empty, the rest of the book was also empty. She guessed that this was the last entry before Fred had died and had turned into the Illyria that was still around today. Her head shot up, Spike had been alive when we all thought he was dead, for all she knew he could still be alive. She grabbed the book and stormed out of her office and to the stairs that led to the apartment she was sharing with Angel and Conner, she was going to find out the truth.

"Hey baby" Conner said as she got through the door, he was sat at the table along with Angel.

"Want to tell me if Spike's still alive?" Angel looked at Dawn in surprise, she threw the book on the table. Angel recognised it straight away to be the journal Wesley had brought Fred when she first arrived back in LA after being in the portal, he had said it would be good for her to get things down. He slowly picked the book up and flipped through it.

"Baby, what you mean?" Dawn glared at both of the men.

"Is Spike still alive?" Angel sighed before standing up, he closed the book and gave it back to Dawn.

"Take a seat, I'll explain everything"

Buffy woke up from the usual dreams, again she dreamt of Spike, this time it was when they had been put under a spell, they had thought they were in love and going to get married. Buffy laughed at the thought, they had been sworn enemies then. She looked at the time, she had slept later than usual today. She was going to do some training with the slayers today so she headed to her ensuite bathroom and quickly got herself ready before heading down into the gymnasium. The slayers were all there ready waiting for her.

"Hey guys, so today we'll work on tactics on how to get out of a sticky situation" the slayers took their places in the gymnasium, 2 people per mat. Rona took her place at the mat in front of Buffy, she was always used for example purpose when needed. "Okay, so what would you do if you was stuck in a corner, a strong vampire stopping you from getting away and trust me, you are not always stronger than the vampire even though you are very strong"

"Stake him?"

"What if you can't?" Everyone looked around hoping someone else would answer. Buffy grabbed Rona and placed her where she wanted her, then Buffy went to the corner of the mat. "Okay watch me, Rona come at me as if you've got me trapped in a corner... okay so the vampires got me trapped, I've got a few options. I can hit him in the head with anything you can grab or even just punching him, it'll make him back up a little and go to protecting his head, that's if he isn't smart enough to grab your hand. Then when he's protecting his head you can roll out the way" Buffy did a demonstration, she hit Rona in the head, not hard but enough to send her backwards a bit giving Buffy space to move. When Buffy stood up again she looked over at the door which just opened, Willow walked in.

"Buffy, Dawn's on the phone" Buffy smiled and nodded.

"Rona, you take over" Rona nodded and took centre stage as Buffy followed Willow out into Giles's office. She took the phone from Giles. "Hey you"

"_Hey Buff, how's everything over there?"_

"It's going alright, just training the girls up some more, what about you, and anything kicking off?"

"_Not really, I had to sort out all the old research of Fred's and Wesley's last night... there's loads! Some good stuff though, all interesting" _Buffy laughed at her younger sister.

"Such a nerd, so how's Conner and Angel?"

"_Conner's fine and Angels good, strange seeing him in the sun. Actually Angel wants to talk to you, he has something to tell you"_

"Okay, put him on" Buffy was slightly confused as she waited for Angel to take the phone.

"_Buffy"_

"What's up Angel?"

"_It's Spike, he's alive"_

"He can't be, I watched Sunnydale collapse into a hole with him inside the hellmouth"

"_Buffy... I really don't want to do this over the phone"_

"Fine, I'll be there tomorrow" she put the phone down on him before he could say anything to her. Giles looked at her in confusion.

"Buffy what is it?" She walked past him ready to exit the office, Willow stared at her bestfriend wondering what Angel had said to get her upset.

"Angel"

"Is he in trouble?" Giles asked, worry in his voice.

"Spike's alive" Both Giles and Willow looked at Buffy in shock before she left them in the office, she ran past the gymnasium not bothering to take over Rona doing her job, she ran straight up the 2 flights of stairs that led to the bedrooms, once in her own room she leant against the door and took a deep shaky breath. Spike couldn't be alive, she watched him perish as the amulet did the job it was supposed to do.

She grabbed the duffel bag from out of her wardrobe and began putting clothes inside.

"Come in" she said as someone knocked on her door, in walked Xander. He looked at the bag she was packing and then looked at Buffy.

"I guess you're going to Dawn" Buffy nodded.

"I need to find out what's going on, it's not every day you hear that the guy you watched die is actually alive. I need to find out how they know or what they know"

Xander dropped the keys to his truck on her bed, Buffy looked up at him.

"You're gonna need a car to get there, Giles will probably need his and it's not like I've been busy these past few weeks" Buffy smiled at Xander and hugged him tight.

"Thanks you Xand" He smiled at her before leaving her to carry on packing for her trip.

As she drove she couldn't help but think of Spike, all the things he had said to her, everything they had been through was in her mind on her way to LA.

She thought about the last time she saw Spike, when she held his hand and together their hands were engulfed into flames, but she didn't feel the pain, all she felt was love for the man in front of her who in the next few minutes would be gone. She thought about his smile, his blonde hair that she loved, the way he dressed and the way he always knew how to make her see sense.

She recognised the busy street as she pulled up, she looked at the building where her sister was, it was now she would get answers.

"Buffy!" Buffy turned and smiled at her younger sister as she ran over to greet her.

"Hey Dawnie" Dawn smiled at her elder sister once she had pulled away, Conner walked over and also greeted Buffy with a smile and a hug. "Where's your dad?"

"Upstairs, come on" Buffy followed Dawn and Conner into the huge apartment suddenly becoming nervous about finding out about the man she had loved who she thought to be dead, well really dead.

Angel welcomed Buffy into his apartment with a hug.

"It's good to see you Buff" Buffy smiled at him.

"You too, looks like your getting a tan" he chuckled and nodded to the table.

"I guess you wanna just get down to it, I have a lot to explain" Buffy nodded and sat the table he had pointed to, Angel followed suit while Dawn and Conner sat on the kitchen side.

"So, when you was on the phone, you mentioned that Spike was alive... that can't be. I was there, Sunnydale turned into a huge crater. He was still inside" Angel nodded.

"That is all well and true, but the amulet that he had worn, when he put it on it made him the amulet, when it had done its job he went with the amulet... he was inside the amulet. Wolfram and Hart got hold of the amulet after the battle and when we opened the package he came out of the amulet. He was different though, he was a ghost... only for a few weeks then he became corporeal again. He spent around a year here; he helped with the apocalypse here"

"You knew he was alive and you didn't tell me"

"We came looking for you, we came to Rome when you was there but we didn't see you... he didn't want to let you know... he thought you would of moved on without him so he didn't want to come back and just mess things up for you"

"He really thinks that? Idiot" Buffy mumbled. Angel laughed.

"Yeah he is an idiot"

"So, he's alive..."

"Yep... just like me" Buffy looked up at him in surprise.

"Just like you... you mean he's all out in the sun and tanned?" Angel laughed.

"He got his life back... he's now human" Buffy's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I thought that only one was the champion or whatever..."

"So did we... but apparently for everything he's done he became a champion... and they awarded us both"

"Is he in LA?" Angel shook his head.

"No... He moved away straight after... he lives in New York"

"Here" Dawn handed Buffy a piece of paper, Buffy opened it out and there was a address, she looked at Dawn then at Angel.

"This is where he lives?"

"Where he works... we don't know where he lives... but go there, you should catch him about 4... here" Angel handed Buffy a envelope, inside was a plane ticket to New York. She smiled at Angel.

"Thank you"

"Well enough of the Spike talk, tell me what's going off back in Cleveland!" Dawn said pulling Buffy away from the guys.

Buffy looked at her sister, her ex boyfriend and her sister's boyfriend who happened to be her ex boyfriends son, they had accompanied her to the airport to wish her good luck. Today she was heading to New York to confront Spike. She had stayed in LA for a few days, catching up with the 3 she hadn't seen in a few months. She hugged her sister one last time before heading to her gate where her flight had just been called.

"I hope she finds him" Dawn said, watching her sister walk away; Conner wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and kissed her hair.

"She will... and he'll be happy to see her" Angel nodded as he watched the woman he once loved and still did walk into the terminal.

"Come on, let's get back" Angel said turning away, Conner and Dawn followed him.

Buffy took the piece of paper out of her jeans pocket and looked at the address, in the last few days her life had changed drastically. She sighed and put it away before taking her phone out.

_Hey Will, sorry I haven't been in touch... thought I'd better let you know that I'm heading to New York... I'm actually on the plane now, Angel gave me an address where I can find Spike and I need to see him. I'm sorry for just rushing out like I did. Hope everything's okay there, I'll be back soon. Buffy xxx_

She put her phone away and put her headphones over her ears to listen to her music; she closed her eyes and let the beats take her into unconsciousness.

Buffy walked through the streets of New York, she had just dropped her things off at a hotel and was now getting herself ready to go see Spike. She had taken a cab to the address where Spike was meant to be working, opposite the steps leading to the entrance was a small wall, Buffy sat down on that and waiting for the familiar face to come out of the huge building.

Buffy looked up at the man walking out, he had a grin on his face as he spoke to the woman next to him, his platinum blonde hair was no more, instead he had very short dark hair, he looked older. She stood up and walked slowly over to him, the woman who was with him waved goodbye and he turned my way, his eyes met Buffy's and his face turned into shock.

"Buffy?" he said quietly. Buffy gave him a small smile.

"Hello Spike"

Spike looked at the woman in front of him, she looked so different but he knew straight away it was her. She looked pale, her now dark hair didn't have that shine it used to have.

"What are you doing here?" Spike asked her, his voice quiet still, not believe who was in front of him. She gave him a small smile.

"Don't really think this is the place to talk about it..." Spike nodded.

"Come on, we'll go to my place" Buffy nodded and followed him to a black viper. Buffy laughed.

"Isn't that..." Spike grinned.

"Yep, Angel's" they both got into the car and Spike sped off in the direction of his house.

"Wow" is all Buffy said when they pulled up outside a huge white house. Spike laughed.

"Not something you'd usually see me in" Buffy shook her head.

"For some reason I had it in my head that you still lived in crypt" she said with a smile. He chuckled.

"Well I didn't really fancy a crypt, I got used to living it up in houses or apartments" Buffy nodded as she followed him up the steps that led to his front door. "Come in" he said once he had the door opened.

Buffy looked around the house, it was simple, you could tell it was Spike that had decorated it. White walls, and black furniture. I turned to look at Spike, he was stood in the kitchen, he turned to look at me.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd come back" Spike sighed, he grabbed a bottle of water before coming towards me and sitting on the stairs.

"At first that's all I tried to do, I had found out where you was and was about to come but then something happened, every time I tried to walk further than a couple of blocks I suddenly ended up back in Wolfram and Hart. Then after a while I began to think about you getting on with your life, it had been so long... you had your life... and then next thing I know I'm human again and here we are"

Buffy nodded, Spike wasn't the same person she had left in the school, he'd changed, he'd turned into a different man, a more grown up one.

"You look good Spike" Spike smiled at the petite woman.

"You don't look so bad yourself" she laughed.

"I look a mess, my hair needs a good wash and I need sleep, it's been a crazy couple of days"

"You can always kip in the spare room? Shower here as well" Buffy shook her head.

"I better be getting back to the hotel..." Spike suddenly stood up.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Buffy smiled.

"If you want" Spike smiled and nodded. Buffy gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking out of his house.

Spike picked Buffy up from the hotel the next morning and took her out for lunch and then back to his. They sat in the kitchen talking about his job and what he did now he could go out in the sunlight. It was weird seeing how much Spike had changed in the couple of years they'd been away from each other. Spike sighed.

"Buffy... what are you doing here? Why come all the way down to New York?" Buffy looked at him shocked.

"What do you mean, why? I just got told that someone I... cared for was still alive, what did you expect me to do?"

"Carry on with your life maybe?" Buffy laughed.

"You think it's that easy? For the past three years all I've thought about is you, how you sacrificed everything for Sunnydale, for me"

"Yeah well it hasn't been easy for me either! I've just started getting on with my life! Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from coming to find you after the apocalypse had done?" Buffy looked down at her hands.

"Spike, I came down here because I love you" Spike's head shot up and he stared at Buffy.

"What?" Buffy looked up and met his gaze.

"I love you Spike, like I told you in the hellmouth, I love you!" I wished you believed me, because it was true!" Buffy didn't know what to expect so she didn't know how to react when Spike's lips where suddenly on hers. After a few seconds her eyes closed and she reacted to it and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting him pick her up and spin her round.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Buffy asked as she watched Spike pack up his house. Buffy had spent 3 weeks in New York with Spike and he had decided to move to Cleveland to be with her. Spike turned and grinned, nodding his head.

"Of course pet, I love you" Buffy smiled.

"Love you too"

A few hours later they pulled up at a familiar place, Sunnydale.

"Wow, it looks different" Buffy nodded and got from the car. She walked down the road a bit, Spike watched from the car. Buffy smiled as she remembered everything about Sunnydale, even the bad bits. She finally had her happy ever after and all it took was a phonecall.


End file.
